Calm, cool reasoning

What the world needs now is not a Democrat or Republican agenda. We don't need wars in the Middle East or airports depriving passengers of toothpaste in London. We need the level-headed peacemaker that is Mike Brady.

When Peter falls prey to unspeakable acts of violence after standing up to the evil Buddy Hinton on behalf of Cindy (#33), the Brady men are shaken to their very core.

Greg and Bobby advise Peter to beat Buddy into a bloody pulp, rip out his eyes and make him sniff his way around. Peter is torn between his pacifist nature and his brooding masculinity. Enter Mike, who informs the Brady boys that all problems with an enemy can be solved with "Calm, cool reasoning."

If Mike Brady were alive today (and, moreover, if he were a real person), I'd fight tooth and nail to put him into office. President Brady would end these seemingly ceaseless conflicts over land, oil and Mel Gibson. He'd be loving yet stern, strict but pleasant. And after Sadaam and George shared a hug and some of Alice's cookies, President Brady would design a groovy house for the world to live in together.

Calm, cool reasoning people. Calm, cool reasoning.

Note: when push came to shove, Mike advised Peter to make Buddy unrecognizable to his own mother. This was, of course, after Mike's painstaking efforts to beseech Mr. and Mrs. Hinton for an end to war. Fighting was a solution Mike chose only after fruitlessly exhausting every possible avenue toward peace and harmony.

Comments

[Caleb Boone]

Gentlemen:

I would like to make some comments which I believe are absolutely necessary during this era of excessive, completely unnecessary nostalgia about everything Americans have ever watched on TV, played, eaten, visited, etc.

I am fascinated by the reverence shown for and respect accorded to "The Brady Bunch," as if it were the bones of Peter in the Vatican Reliquary.

Those of us who never looked up to "The Brady Bunch" should be heard.

I do not mean to offend, but I cannot keep silent whilst every Tom, Dick and Harry tells about how his life was changed when he kissed the Blarney, er, I mean, Brady Stone.

"The Brady Bunch" was never a good program. I always saw it as a naugahyde, insincere, plastic, poor excuse for a television show about a family. It just was not worthy.

The alternatives were many and far superior, with better humour, better acting, and normal sensibility. They were: "Family Affair;" "The Lucy Show;" and, yes, in re-runs "The Dick Van Dyke Show;" "The Patty Duke Show;" "Dobie Gillis;" "The Andy Griffith Show;" "Leave It To Beaver;" and many others.

Everything about "The Brady Bunch" was flat, un-natural and embarrassingly fake.

One episode of "Leave It To Beaver" has more redeeming social value than the entire run of all seasons of "The Brady Bunch."

"The Courtship of Eddie's Father" and "Julia," although lesser programs, were still head-and-shoulders above "The Brady Bunch."

Everyone wants to be nostalgic about everything these days, to no good purpose. This rush-to-nostalgia is in itself immature and silly, quite apart from "The Brady Bunch." But add "The Brady Bunch" to this nostalgic wave, and one is left breathlessly in shock.

Those of us who lived through the original seasons of "The Brady Bunch" suffered its inanity enough. Let us lay it by. Let us have done with the distraction of inferior expressions of sentimentality and moral caricature.

Real sentiment in good humour, equipoise of good taste and maturity can be found in so many other family shows of that time and before. Why did so many miss television viewers that mark? Why do so many nowadays fawn on this truly inferior show?

I believe I know the answer.

It is because they yearn for a wholesome example of family life.

Such examples are not to be found in television shows, movies, plays, books or magazines.

Neither the World War Two Generation nor any generation since has provided such an example, Tom Brokaw notwithstanding.

One can only find the real answer in the Life of Jesus and in Scripture.

I wish everyone would quit wasting their time on all these things and concentrate on the Bible.

True, I did use other television shows as a foil for my discourse. Yet I willingly cast them aside.

Of course, all my comments are meant in a spirit of goodwill.

Sincerely yours,
CALEB BOONE.

[Brady Bunch Blog]

While I appreciate your input, the point of this blog is not to discuss any of the star's personal lives.

That said, I'm not into censoring or deleting comments unless absolutely necessary, so if this is an issue readers wish to discuss, so be it.

[Stig Manion]

Great idea for a Blog!

OK, let's put the Kettle on the Stove, and get conversation going!

Mike Brady, given voice by Robert Reitz (Reed), once a married man, then an alleged Queer, then a dead man, who 'til the end played the father we all wish we had?

He loved the children. In real life, he has a beautiful (now adult) daughter, and was a farm boy married. Something happened along the way.

OK, some will take issue. So what. I do not believe he was "born Queer."

Mix and discuss.